So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
