So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
