You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
