Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
