What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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