I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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