You're completely useless in the revolution.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So much rum. So many feels.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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