According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
