I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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