i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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