Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
