is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
whose parrot is this?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
