stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
