Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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