We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I want a musical about memes.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
