what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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