We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
