I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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