Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
