im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
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