Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
