I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
