woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
