He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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