Who did Billy Mays play for?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
