Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
