Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
