you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
