i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
