Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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