Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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