Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
