my vag is so smooth its legendary
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
