I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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