he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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