i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
