I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
