I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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