he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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