Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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