I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
