i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
