I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
