wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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