Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
