As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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