How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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