It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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