His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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