Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
