tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think a kid would responsible me up
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
