the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
