tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
