I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
